Epiphany
by GrinGrin
Summary: In Zero's world, there wasn't a lot of room for ignorant people. Everyone had to strive to not only be more, but know more. Knowledge is power, and there is no greater knowledge than knowledge of the self. Quick note - This is mainly a place to get rid of plot-bunnies.
1. Motivation

_I do not own Code Geass._

**Epiphany**

**Motivation**

Tamaki Shinichirō knew what the others thought of him.

He had no special skills to bring to the table.

He wasn't an ace.

He wasn't a speaker.

He wasn't a strategist.

He wasn't an engineer.

He wasn't a manager.

He wasn't a treasurer.

He wasn't a reporter.

He wasn't royalty.

He wasn't a politician.

He wasn't a leader.

He wasn't anything really, except the friend of a friend of the original leader of their little group. He was just brash, hot-headed, impulsive, not-that-bright, _doubting_ Tamaki. He had made peace with that.

He was still trying his damn best to become something better. Something more.

He didn't care anymore if history remembered him. It wasn't his history anyway, not really. This wasn't the age of Tamaki Shinichirō.

This was the age of Zero, of Kallen Kouzuki, of Tohdoh Kyoshiro, of Oghi Kaname. This was an age for heroes, for gods.

Not for little men like Tamaki. He knew this. He knew this as surely as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow, as he knew Zero would see them through yet another battle, as he knew that someday there would be a world where everyone could be free.

But still, he tried. How could he not?

He tried to be there when he was needed; always looking for anything he could do to help. It didn't matter what. As long as he could keep the important people doing what they did best, he would do it.

Loading weapons? Yes.

Organizing civilians. Of course.

Unloading crates of supplies? Why not?

Make someone smile? Always.

Even become a glorified janitor? If that was where he was needed.

He wasn't anything special. And that was why he couldn't hate himself.

Who could blame a little man for being pulled in by Zero? Even if Zero was only using him as fuel, using him to strive for more, to better himself, to reach for the future.

Tamaki would give everything he had for Zero. He was a literal star, burning bright and long and _hard_.

He would burn out.

They always did.

But damn it all if he would have any regrets when he did.

He had made his decision so long ago.

On that forsaken mountain, with death coming towards them, he had pulled a gun on Zero. He had _threatened_ _Zero_. And lived.

Even with all his doubt, all his pain, all his anger, everything that made Tamaki the twisted little creature that he knew himself to be…

Zero had saved him.

Tamaki died that day. If he had his way, as he first intended, the whole rebellion would never have happened. Tamaki made a mistake. It was all he ever did.

On that day, he made a decision as well. He would cast himself fully into the war. Zero's war.

Tamaki Shinichirō died that day.

Tamaki lived on.

Tamaki, the useless one, lived on.

Tamaki, the guy everyone laughed at, lived on.

Tamaki, the man who lived each and every day only for Zero, lived on.

He was reborn that day, remade under the masterful hands of Zero.

He would die under those hands.

Tamaki had no pride as a man or a human or a pilot or a soldier or a commander or a diplomat or an engineer.

Tamaki had his pride as a servant to one of the world's new gods.

_And that's all I need._

_I know what they think of me._

_I just don't care anymore._

* * *

AN: My muse is a fucking bitch.

I have so many other things already in my mind… new chapter for Hormones, ideas for Louise's summoning, hundreds of little things for Lelouch's Experiments, ideas for a quasi-sequel to Twelve, a half-assed desire to continue Damn Kakashi, cultist!Sokka, alternative ideas for the Worship!world, expansions on Movie Night, ideas for a series of drabbles for Dragon Age: Origins and Fallout- New Vegas…

It's just too damn crowded already.

And here comes along this little suckerpunch that _wouldn't. Leave. Me. Alone._

*sighs*

Anyway… Tamaki is really a sad little character for me. Really, I just die a bit inside every time he messes up. He was _crying_ when Zero reappeared, damnit. In his own, twisted little way, he and Orange-kun have some things to talk about.

I know many of you don't agree, but meh.

You don't have too.

Anyway. Chances are pretty high I'm going to let this snowball into a series. I've already gotten possible ideas for Oghi, Tohdoh, Rivalz, Canon, Guiliford, even Nina. So many ideas, so little time.

Oh, and don't take any of those as a promise, okay? For all I know this will stay a one-shot.

Until then, though…

Read, enjoy, review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 16/12/2013

Updated: 17/12/2013


	2. Conundrum

_I do not own Code Geass._

**Epiphany**

**Conundrum**

_Do we build for the pilots we have found or do we find pilots for what we have built?_

It really should have been an easy question.

_But then, again so should a lot of things._

Rakshata Chawla bit the stem of her pipe. So many things should be simple… and they are! _In theory_.

She was good with theories, hell she was borderline _divine_. So why did everything always seem to go so wrong?

Things were supposed to be simple. Go to Zero. Work for Zero. Strengthen Zero.

But never _for_ Zero.

She was never meant to actually believe in this man, with his insane plots and melodramatic manner, his corny speeches and flamboyant style.

Put it all on paper, and he was a mockery. A sham. A charlatan claiming to be a messiah. But get too close…

He'd drag you in to his madness, make you _believe_. He drew people in, made armies from militia, made countries from safehouses, made new worlds from words.

It was supposed to be easy to keep her distance. Make a couple of innovation's here, pull a fast one on her erstwhile fiancé there… It was so clear!

Keep your distance!

Stay unattached!

Be ready to run at a moment's notice!

And still! It was maddening…

She was just an engineer. She made things for others to use. _Did she build for the pilots they had found or did they find pilots for that she had built?_

Rakshata knew exactly what she had done. She had made _decades_ of progress in a few months. Decades under the command of a ragtag bunch of idealists, fighting a losing battle.

She had been stewing over the same old, outdated design for half a year in India.

She had lacked the drive necessary to truly innovate.

Then Zero appeared.

Purpose. Opportunity. Inspiration.

And out came the masterpieces.

Guren.

Gefjun Disturber.

Weaponized Radiation Waves.

She turned battles. She changed defeats into stalemates, stalemates into victories, victories into routs.

Or did she? She just made a tool for others, didn't she? She could no more take credit for Kallen's success than Adam could for humanity's.

_What was she?_

An engineer, striding forward in leaps and bounds?

A weapon-maker, toying with death and destruction?

A visionary, to deliver the world from evil?

A partner to Zero?

A subordinate?

A slave?

_I am the pilot or am I the tool?_

_Did I make the army Zero's using, or did Zero use me to make his army?_

She finally relaxed her grip on her pipe. She stretched out on the couch she insisted came with her everywhere.

_Does it matter? Does it really?_

_Pilot or machine, each is useless without the other._

But still… deep down inside, there was the niggling worm she so disposed.

_Zero would have found some other solution anyway._

* * *

AN: Rakshata. She's really interesting. I haven't noticed her a lot in canon, but she's always there. Lazy, clever and omnipresent, but we still don't know a lot about her. She makes everything Zero needs, but she'd be worthless without him. In India, she's useless. In Brittannia, she's Lloyd, but with breasts and better taste.

And, oh yes, Lloyd and Rakshata were engaged. I don't particularly care if it's cliché or cheesy or whatever, that is literally the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw how those two treated each other. Also kinda explains why Lloyd was still unmarried in canon (not because he's old, but because he's noble but not even engaged).

Anyway… yet another Zero-angst thingy. The mind goes where the mind goes, I guess.

Read, enjoy, review.

~GrinGrin

PS – Oh yeah, it looks like this will continue. Don't expect a regular update-schedule though. Not going to make promises I can't keep.

Written: 17/12/2013

Posted: 17/12/2013


	3. Damage Control

_I do not own Code Geass._

**Epiphany**

**Damage Control**

The Prime Minister was insane.

Kanon Maldini knew this. He had known this ever since he had started working for Schneizel, so many months ago.

It wasn't that the Prince heard voices, or had irrational fears or became horribly obsessive. He just didn't care.

He didn't care about the lives he destroyed.

He didn't care how many people died.

He didn't care that his manipulations twisted people.

He didn't care that his own goals opposed the Emperor.

He just, frankly said, didn't give a fuck.

And that's what made him so dangerous. If he wanted something done, it was going to be done and god help anyone in his way.

Opposition from various manufacturers about his blatant Sakuradite misuse? The companies were brought low, bought out, their owners blackmailed or murdered, important employees and researchers stolen or coerced and suddenly there was no one opposing the great visionary, Prince Schneizel.

Some of his top researchers wanted some time off? Whole families disappeared or moved closer, drugs were secreted away in air supplies and food, threats were made, bribes handed out, buildings dropped off maps and became clandestine research labs, never to be left again.

Political dissidents? Poison, blackmail, lawsuits, espionage, threats once more, bribes, concessions, leniency on taxes, a thousand little things.

Tens of thousands danced to Prince Schniezel's merciless tune.

Prince Schneizel didn't care.

He paid Kanon Maldini to care for him.

Kanon was to be the sympathetic shoulder, the benevolent ear. He was the face of Prince Schneizel, when the Prince needed that human element he was so lacking.

And Kanon was good at it.

Twisting others to see his point of view, consoling those who had lost so much, gathering information and building relations. He was no soldier, not like Guilford or Rounds, but then again…

They were replaceable.

There were many fighters and pilots and generals and strategists if one only knew where to look.

But diplomats? Skilled diplomats like Kanon, oh so skilled in damage control and misdirection?

They were a rare breed.

He was needed. He was indispensable. It was the only reason Kanon could sleep when he _knew_ Prince Schneizel was having him watched.

He still had time.

He was still useful.

* * *

AN: Am I the only one who Schneizel is a complete fucking sociopath?

Anyway, consider this Alternative Character Interpretation as to Kanon's role in Schneizel's entourage.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

PS - Check out the poll in my profile. It's about my normally HUGE AN's (not really a problem in Epiphany, but everywhere else? Whooo boy). I'd like some opinions.

Written: 20/12/2013

Posted: 20/12/2013


	4. Perspective

_I do not own Code Geass._

**Epiphany**

**Perspective**

And it was all a matter of perspective, wasn't it?

Karen Stadfieldt or Kallen Kouzuki?

Lelouch Lampeouge or Zero?

Terrorist or Savior?

Messiah or Demon?

All just a matter of perspective.

Which angle did she see from?

… Or, rather, which angle could she justify?

Obviously the Britannians were oppressive dictators, subjugating everything in their way…

But did everyone need to suffer?

How many people had she killed herself? By the hands of her Glasgow or Burai or Guren or her input on his plans?

How many widows or orphans had she made? How many families had she destroyed? How many future generations had she condemned to obscurity?

… how many Naoto's had she taken away from little sisters?

Did she really have that right?

…

Maybe.

She wasn't the one who started this war.

The kindest thing she could do was to do her best to end it quickly. And if it meant following a ghost from Britannia's collective past?

So be it.

It was just a matter of perspective after all.

* * *

AN: Yeah, it's incredibly short and barely worth being called a chapter or an update and it's just a bit weird but it's something. Namely my first chapter of the New Year, so there's that.

Anyway, this is Kallen in a fleeting moment of introspection as to how justifiable her actions are. I tried, okay?

Alternate title (for the curious) is Questions.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

PS – I don't think I've mentioned it before, but I'm putting it here now.

Firstly, the poll regarding my AN's will be closed by tomorrow. It's not of major import to Epiphany, but I thought I might mention it.

Secondly, I've started putting various requests, milestones and pieces of information in my profile, so some of you may want to take a look at it.

PPS – The new cover is the product of the rather epic Wordle website. Give it a look, it's pretty damn useful. As for the colors… It worked out incredibly well… I just kinda chose purple (Lulu), green (C.C.), red (Kallen) and white (others, but it works for Suzaku as well) and it randomly assigned colors to words. But, I swear to god, the words couldn't have fit better with the characters had I specifically selected them.

Written: 06/01/2014

Posted: 07/01/2014


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